' That ' and ' This ' Thing called LOVE

"That thing called love" - by Tuhin Sinha. This book caught my fancy among all the books at " crosswords” a few years back. I browsed through the pages with my specs on, guessing whether this author has actually found that elusive thing called 'love.' Eventually I ended up buying this book and finished reading past midnight but found nothing new.

What is 'love'? Does it happen only once in a lifetime? Some argue that love is a very natural and spontaneous reaction and spreads its radiance and sunshine when it enters one's life. Its an all encompassing experience . Love is beautiful and makes one beautiful. Love changes all.........Love means the desire to be with one another all the time; love makes us jealous and possessive; Love means the pleasure of giving everything without expecting anything in return...atleast that’s what the romantic poets have said thru the ages!!


I think these are merely notions, reality is far removed from it. Love often makes one selfish and self centered. Love entails deceit and lying for no reason, it means show of power, glamour and money. People get into self deceit and self denial mode to cover the dark side of today's modern life/ love. It all seems so shallow,on second thought – it could simply be our over reacting hormones!

What do we talk about love?? What is that by the way? If one has money and power one has it all and they can if not true find a compromised love. I have seen people falling in and out of love so many times for reasons best known to them or for no reason at all. Which one is real love? Of course all of them are real so long as the the passion and fervor last. Then gradually it looses its color and sheen and the FLAMES turn to ASHES.

With the advent of internet and chat rooms in their many avatars people are lured into a false sense of longing which is mis-interpreted as love. But truly how can you love just a mail id or just a morphed photograph even though they are accompanied with saccharine sweet language and promises of eternal love and all the other accompaniments. This is the result of people loosing sense of reality and usually the lonely hearts of the world are sucked into a false sense of security and mental contentment. Surely some clandestine mails and private chats on the phone does not in anyway offer a true picture of the person on the other side of the net or the line., and in reality most of those resorting to such methods are already in cheating mode or have something to hide.

Lucky are those who can survive on virtual love!! May their unhappy clan increase. They will forever be slaves of feeling of possessiveness and mistrust – just imagine one wrong word typed or uttered would make their make believe world come crashing down.

With it comes immense frustration heart break and at times suicidal feelings – what else can be expected when a relationship ends with just a drastic change in tone as if this voice was not the one the other longed for or the hanging up of the phone or the press of the “DELETE” button???

All the more sad because we grieve for a virtual being, someone who was never truly meant to be there, only maybe boredom and some spare time was all that was required to start the relationship in the first place. And it is not only the gullible who suffer such relationships, even the so called worldly wise often fall for this trap. What a superficial world we live in, wherein we don’t even have straws to clutch at and still while it lasts we are in heaven only to experience the most horrible hell at the end of it and there starts the blame game!!

Ha Love!!!

A few months later I came across Durjoy Dutta's book 'Of course I love you - Till I find someone better '. It caught my fancy, i picked it up and saw the picture of a young author on the back cover . He could be writing sense i thought, but this time i dint buy the novel just moved away with cluttered thoughts on ' this ' thing called love….

As i surf the TV i come across a programme which says ' Emotional Athyachar ' - No comments!!!To each his own.

Back home i sit at my study thinking about this when I happen to glance at the window sill and i see Munnabhai sitting on it saying ' Love is nothing but Chemical Locha and nothing else'. Ya i nod in agreement and continue reading.

The words in the book fail to hold me further..my thoughts wander and as i zero in to an understanding i strongly feel it should be fear of failure or insecurity more importantly lack of faith and trust in the other that puts off love. This fear over takes faith probably.........Sad yet true!

I wade through the other books on the shelf and bring out the Old Wise Book, ponder deep into it and alas find the words my heart was looking for so long .....

Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look AFTER its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices FOR the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. TRUE Love never fails.

Wonder .....does ' IT ' really exists???? Hope it does. But i believe very strongly YES IT DOES!!!