Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wake up ....smell coffee

Scene as in any other home till recent years.

Father works, sometimes mother too works to support the family or at times she is a full time home-maker. It does become difficult to make both ends meet, but the silent understanding displayed by each member of the family makes it a win win game for all. The children know their responsibility and avoid demanding unnecessary things. They value, hard earned money of their parents and likewise do justice with the responsibility laid on them. The parents do not set high goals, but reasonable goals so that their children can live a descent life of their own in future. At times the parents ambitions, their wishes are kept on the back burner; they just focus on their children.

Nowadays children too strive hard. Apart from academic pressure they live under tremendous peer pressure. They try their best to be in the race but sometimes just cant make it. They work more and more and then they unknowingly succumb to this so called pressure from all sides. Their tender hearts and tender minds can hardly withstand all this and we read in the newspaper the next day

“Merit list student commits suicide”

On reading this the world around us comes to a standstill, and we collectively question “WHY?” Why did this happen?” We start thinking like never before, all the pros and cons are churned in our minds. But the question still remains “Why?” The child was talented, well mannered, disciplined, intelligent and balanced. What actually triggered the child to take such a drastic step.?

Lets pause for a few moments and ponder. The hail and hearty looking kids that we see today are they really so as they seem to be??? Think about our times – we had limited resources, reasonable dreams and reasonable spirits to at least dare to achieve them.

Then whats wrong now.?? Do we start the blame game ?? Lets not. The last 10years…..how drastically have they changed. Children today have been exposed to a difficult set of values and with it comes a different way of thinking. Craving for all things new and fashionable have replaced the old set of values, and with it acute frustration if their desires are not met.

Its time we analyze things a bit sensitively by putting ourselves in the child’s shoes. A child is born, a small life brings happiness to all, his/her first steps give so much pleasure. The child goes to school with a small bag, though light for us but surely burdensome for the child right from his/her tender age. But still the child takes it in his stride gracefully(??) and moves on. The parents are happy at the way the child is going forward. But at the same time they can sense that probably something is disturbing the child. Intentionally or not both the parents and the child ignore this strange feeling of helplessness and doom which has overcome the child.


The definition of pleasure or recreation has changed drastically in a few years. Parents are made to believe and they in turn make the children to believe that a trip to McDonald's or a mall or a movie in a multiplex or buying a designer dress or a specific brand is so much of a stress burster.

Money can buy happiness!!!!

Children voice their demand and its granted. During our times we had to long for even the basic things – which in turn developed our patience and our withstanding capacity to know that we can't get things easily. Today parents find it difficult to say a “NO” to a child. The parents believe that if they didn't get it in their times and now that they can afford then why not give?? By doing this they try to prove to themselves that they are great parents!

The parameters of upbringing our child had changed. McDonald, designer clothes etc. have taken the place of core values. But is this the end of the story??? The system in which we survive day in and out, the work pressure on us, our ambitions, our survival in the rat race make us unknowingly drift apart from family. At the end of the day we pacify our selves by telling after all we are doing it for them. But at the same time we ask ourselves what is that vacuum which we can't fathom???

The need of the hour is 'TIME'. We need to give our children time. We need to talk with them. This will help them to express whats in their hearts and minds, and we will understand them better. See the world through their eyes, probably they are seeing a different picture which we have missed. Their thoughts should be known to us. Lets not classify those thoughts of theirs as right or wrong, because they are their thoughts and they are neither right nor wrong. We just need to respect them. Lets just help them to live life in a balanced way and let them know that if they slip at times, we will support them. If economic burden dont pressurize and if atleast one parent has full time to give to the child we can always avoid a nuclear family and a sibling is always a gift that we can give them.


We just need to make them understand that life is not always a bed of roses and teach them to take the bouquets and bricks bats which life throws at them.

So my dear friends its high time we Wake Up.... and Smell Coffee!!!

3 comments:

  1. when u write like this how can anyone not smell the coffee!!

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  2. True time has changed,outside home there a different world all togeather.one thing which i think adds to the pressure children face(in a nuclear family) is,to much attention is given to them.if they r not studying, not playing,not speaking proper language,not wearing proper clothes our focus is so much on them that they r tired of meeting our EXPECTATIONS I think we should give them time to mature let them make mistakes and more imp,let them be themselves
    ,
    NICE WORK PUN

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  3. looking forward to your next post.more coffee please.

    ReplyDelete